A while ago, King Arthur asked if any of the employee-owners might be willing to share how baking related to their LGBTQ experience. Here’s mine.

For me, baking and being gay are so tied up together. Baking has been a touchstone throughout my life. As a child, baking was a big part of learning to share, to help, to take care of, to comfort, to celebrate. As a young pastry cook, baking helped me learn how to lead a team, to receive a compliment, and to find the support and courage to come out of the closet. Living a baker’s life has taken me across the thresholds of doors that I never dreamed that I would stand before. 

Photos of Frank and other employee-owners at King Arthur
At left, Frank tests gluten-free ingredients with R&D director Sue Gray in 2014. At right, Frank and other King Arthur employee-owners hit the road to spread the joy of baking in 2010.

Being Out is uniquely personal. No two people do it the same. It’s not accomplished in a single act, and it takes a lifetime. I came of age during a very dark time in LGBTQ history. Harvey Milk was murdered, AIDS/HIV, culture wars; I’m sure you get the idea. I’ve been coming out for over 40 years now. Those intangible gifts of baking — comfort, joy, care — have always been part of my story.

Baking saved my life. It gave me the gift of time, surrounded by a lot of support, to be myself. I’m proud to be the me I am, and proud of King Arthur for taking the opportunity to recognize and celebrate every baker.

Happy baking and happy Pride!

This Pride Month, King Arthur Flour is raising awareness for The Trevor Project, the leading national organization providing crisis intervention services to LGBTQ young people under 25. We've donated to The Trevor Project and we encourage you to do so as well: give.thetrevorproject.org/KingArthurFlour2020

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Frank in the test kitchen
The Author

About Frank Tegethoff

While pursuing an undergraduate degree in Philosophy at St. Mary’s University, San Antonio TX, Frank began cooking for retreats and summer camps, and had the opportunity to spend a couple of years working the counter at the oldest tortilleria in San Antonio (Sanitary Tortilla). After graduation, and...
View all by Frank Tegethoff

Comments

Meg from Detroit

June 19, 2020 at 7:10pm

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am of your generation and lost my best friend Jeff, with whom I used to bake, to AIDS in 1995. And although I have many LGBTQ friends, I've never before heard them say that Being Out takes a lifetime. But of course, now that you say it, of course it does. We become even more of ourselves throughout our entire lifetimes. And I'm hoping that as I grow older, who I am continues to encompass being a baker, and a friend and ally of LGBTQ people. Thanks too to King Arthur for matching donations to the Trevor Project.

And I must say that I want to join the woman whose comment preceded mine, Kay Moss, in her journey to Norwich in the future to meet you all. Well said, Kay Moss! Well said indeed!

I am inspired to leave you with this quote: “One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it.” Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Peace, Happy Pride, and Happy Baking

Abby R Molino

June 23, 2020 at 12:20pm

King Arthur! Thank you! How lovely to read these inspiring stories of lives unfolding into fulfillment related to baking. An unexpected gift to start my day.

Immediately Anne Shirley, the main character in the Anne of Green Gables books and films, came to my mind. She was all about growth and the value of diversity in the face of adversity. Anne's first public recognition as the writer she was becoming was winning a writing contest sponsored by Reliable Baking Flour Company. That company and Anne were fictional.

But Clarissa Pinkola Estes Ph.D. and her book Women Who Run With the Wolves are not. That book has been my bible--my recipie book--for decades as I rise above and heal from the effects of chronic low self esteem. Forgiveness of self and others has been required on my journey.

Coming out sounds so much like the process of forgiveness. Level by level, we uncover the layers of our truth. Some steps require setting our work on a shelf to allow the great compassionate healer to work some grace into the dough of our situation. As we go along, we sort out the ingredients of our lives, and put them in more appropriate context and proportion. We measure, level off, fold in, rise above, punch down, put to the heat, over and over, appreciating each presentation for its good qualities, deciding what we will do differently next time to get closer to where we want to go.

How well the language of baking describes the work of coming out and of forgiving. No wonder baking is so healing. Thank you, King Arthur and contributors, for providing light to the soul.

Kay Moss

June 16, 2020 at 1:10pm

Thank you, Mr. Tegethoff, for sharing your story. I'm proud you can be just who you are. Yay for King Arthur for taking the opportunity to recognize and celebrate every baker. Someday, when Covid-19 is behind us, I'm going to get in my car and drive to Norwich, Vermont. I'm going to gaze at the leaves turning their blazing reds and yellows. I'm going to have a scone and a cup of coffee in the King Arthur café. I'm going to take home some jam and maybe some maple syrup. I'm also going to shake hands, or whatever takes the place of handshakes in our post-Covid world, with each of you amazing bakers. I'm going to thank each and every one of you for helping me learn to bake, after all of these 66 years on this earth. You are good and supportive teachers, just when my life needed the comfort and warmth of fresh baked bread.

Carol Kelley

June 21, 2020 at 10:34am

Kay, we visited King Arthur when we were in Vermont for our daughter's graduation from Lyndon State in Lyndonville. I could have bought out the entire store! It's a wonderland of pretty much everything you could ever want, baking-wise.

Ron Weber

June 16, 2020 at 10:07am

Good for you. Am proud of you as a gay man and a baker. I love baking. I bake something almost every day.

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