"Spoon the thickened filling into the crust."
Well, we got the spoon part right...
Woo hoo! It's finally April – winter should be out the door. But of course, April can't start without April 1st, and you know what that means...
Our Annual April Fool's Day blog, straight to you from our test kitchens here at King Arthur Flour.
Each year we think "Hey, maybe we won't have enough flubs for April Fool's." Yet somehow, despite 100+ years of combined baking experience among us, we still manage to make some spectacular goofs.
And now, on with the show.
"They just don't make ovens like they used to."
"Don't worry, a little powdered sugar on top, no one will notice."
And for my fellow geeks – "Hey, Wonder Woman, your invisible pans idea is a flop!"
Well, at least this one had the good grace to land on a baking sheet.
Grapeseed flour. The next big thing? Maybe not... Does anyone else remember purple ketchup from the ’90s?
Oh well, back to the ovens.
Oven's up to temp, right? Close enough, right? Uh......
Okay, we'll just bake something else.
Canapé bread tubes, or clay extruders... the world may never know.
Some of you inveterate readers of this blog may recall PJ working on this split-top bread last year.
She'll probably still be working on it next year.
Why do I have a sudden vision of the Flying Nun?
I'll tell you, there's nothing like a good, cast iron pan for baking bread.
If your goal is a completely incinerated bottom crust. Charcoal, baby. 1/2"-thick black asphalt.
Reaction of our tasting panel? "Thanks, I'll pass."
Hamantaschen? How about Hamansquishen? This is why you DON'T use jam in filled cookies.
Does anyone else think the cookie on the lower left is filled with salsa? It sure looks it to me! Hey, at least salsa doesn't boil out of its crust...
And then there's the Big Ooze.
Want to turn maple sugar to maple syrup – instantly? Turn your back on a rolled log of maple-walnut sticky bun dough for 1 minute, and see what happens.
Get... back... in there!
Double the correct amount of butter in this cookie crumb pie crust? Let me just bake it anyway, I wonder what will happen…
Really, we're not having much luck with our ovens, are we? I say we head over to the stove top instead.
It's as easy as boiling an egg, right? NOT.
Hmm, this recipe says to butter the pan with 1 teaspoon butter and 1 teaspoon oil before pouring in the batter.
Nah... that's overkill. I'll just give the pan a little spritz with some Pam; it'll be fine.
Well – beauty isn't everything, you know!
What she said.
One of these things is not like the others... one of these things just doesn't belong.
Well, the heck with baking – let's try some pasta.
"Make a well in the center of the flour, and add 2 eggs. Stir to combine."
And oh, by the way – make ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN not to accidentally knock a hole in that wall of flour!
Attention class: today's lesson is punctuation, with a focus on commas.
Namely, too many commas. Am I referring to the controversial Oxford Comma here?
Nope, not this time. It seems this birthday cake was for John Martin, and Caleb – two kids, not three.
Hey, a flick of the spatula, that comma is GONE. And the grandma who'd come to pick the cake up for her grandsons' birthday was very gracious about the tiny, comma-less divot in the buttercream.
We don't seem to be having much luck baking or cooking today. I guess we'll just clean up the kitchen and call it a day.
Gravity is always on...
Remember this picture from 2 years ago? Those are PJ's feet covered in flour. So, how's she doing now?
Same PJ, same shoes now with a sweet sugar coating. Cleanup, aisle 4!
We'd like to leave you with one last thought, before we head back to our test kitchen toils.
Life isn't all about chocolate and sugar and butter and flour.
Ordering: Clam on graham, Cheeto on the side, and a bag of cheese Jujyfruits to go.
Thanks for joining us once again as we celebrate our follies, foibles and flubs. See you next year!